Confucious Says...

For those of you who follow Chris's blog, you've already heard the story of Aiden's finger (for those just catching up click here). Why, you ask, has it taken me this long to catch up with my blog? The short answer is - it took ME that long to recover from the whole incident.

For all of the moms out there that have gotten "that call", you know what I mean. The second my phone rang at work from school I knew something was wrong. I can't describe anything other than shock that hit me like a brick when our after school care program director told me about what happened...but all I really remember from that conversation was the part where she told me part of Aiden's finger was missing. I can tell you, for the many speeding tickets I got in high school, none would compare to that which I would have gotten if I was pulled over that afternoon. I couldn't seem to get to school fast enough.

Without documenting all of the crazy details from the incident, I can tell you, as a mom, I learned several things from this experience:

1 - Your children can often teach you more than you are able to teach them if you let them.

Before this happened, I could have told you Aiden was a tough kid. He's always picked himself back up quickly and doesn't come to tears often. But, throughout everything that happened, I just keep replaying how all of the doctors and nurses kept saying how brave he was and how well he was handling everything that happened. Today - Aiden is drawing pictures of his finger so that everyone knows what it looks like (it's still wrapped up in bandages). It didn't slow him down a beat - he jumped right back into things, playing outside with his friends and playing basketball at school. He recalls the incident as "the time that he chopped his finger off". He doesn't wince or worry that it might permanently look different, like his mother does. In fact, I'm pretty certain that throughout his lifetime he will carry this as one of his "battle wounds" to be proud of. All I can say is that the strength and resilience of that kid amazes me. I was always proud to be his mom, but even more so after watching him persevere through hardship.

2 - C Smith is about as good as it gets.

I am a tough girl myself...that is until I had kids. I figured that out quickly the first time Aiden clipped his chin on our wooden stairs and there was blood everywhere. All I could think was blood, BLOOD! I couldn't even think a rationale thought. The same panic overcame me when picking Aiden up from school that afternoon. Silence was about all I could do to keep it together...and lots and lots of hugs. I figured the best thing I could do for Aiden was try to hide my fear and sadness - if I was strong he would be strong. However, my boy scout husband met us at the hospital with stories ready to roll. He talked a lot with Aiden and put him at ease. Later when the docs were cleaning the wound, Chris thought to get out his phone to play Star Wars clips...I'm pretty sure Aiden wasn't thinking anything but lightsaber battles at this point! Then Chris was the trooper and took Aiden downtown for surgery (more on that below) and was out until 2:00 that morning, putting up with a very hungry and tired son...no dinner since they knew they would have to give Aiden local anesthesia to fix his finger. Even since then, Chris is more tolerable of cleaning the wound than I and fixing up Aiden's bandages. I mean I always knew that I was married to a good man, but I'm not sure I can actually put into words what it meant to realize the deep levels of compassion I saw in this man. I can only hope that my two boys grow into as good of a father as he is some day.

3 - Good friends and family are what life boils down to.

When all of this happened, it was right at the end of a work day. Kieran was still at daycare. We called upon our good friend Stef to pick up Kieran so that we both could be with Aiden at the hospital. Stef, with three kids of her own (including a 9 mth old), picked up Kieran and took all four kids to gymnastics and dinner all by herself. What can I say - she is the woman! Her husband then tucked her kids into bed while she went to my house to tuck in Kieran that night. I finally left the hospital around 9:30 when the two boys were headed downtown for Aiden's surgery. While I have some of the best friends in the world, I also didn't want to make her to have to settle in at my house for the night! So, I went home and waited anxiously for the phone call that would eventually tell me everything went just fine.

The day after the accident I was at home with Aiden when he had a basket of fruit sent by the people at my office...Aiden LOVES fruit. When Aiden saw the basket, his actual words were "Mom, this is the best day EVER!". Oh, to be able to see the world through the eyes of a kid again! Given the night before, Aiden spent much of that day sleeping. However, I tried to keep him on his normal schedule, so at 8 o'clock off to bed we went. As we were saying our nighttime prayers, Aiden asked me how I was able to fall asleep every night. My response was that I like to think about all of the happy things that happened to me during the day, so Aiden said "ok, I'm going to think about my fruit!" The things that 5 yr olds say...

Throughout the next week, our family stepped up helping to take care of Aiden while we kept him out of school. I'm pretty sure by the end of it he was plenty spoiled by all of his relatives!

Although we didn't do the greatest job of reaching out to people...the love and prayers we got from all of our friends and family reminded me that this is the important stuff in life. We were all put on earth to create relationships and experience life fully. To me - that is time spent slowing down and really making the most of the time I have with all of the wonderful people in my life.

Here is a quote by Confucious that I found that summarizes it best:
By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.

On my Thanksgiving this year, I was much more thankful of the beautiful family I have been blessed with and the honor of friendship I have received from all of the good people that surround me. My hope for you is that we don't have to experience these moments to realize the best in those around us.